1) When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.
2) The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.  The other dishes are mine and contain my food.  Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
3) The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.  Beating me to the bottom is not the object.  Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
4) I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed.  I am very sorry about this.  Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.  Look at videos of dogs sleeping - they can actually curl up in a ball.  It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.  I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.
5) My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
6) For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.  If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine and try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open.  I must exit through the same door I entered.  In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.
7)The proper order is kiss me and then go smell the other dogs butt.  I cannot stress this enough.  It would be such a simple change for you.  
 

1. The dog is not allowed in the house.
2. Ok, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain parts.
3. The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.
4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the dog allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. Ok, the dog is allowed on the bed but at the foot of the bed only, and only when invited.
7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.
9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

Author Unknown 
 

And God Created Pugs!

On the first day God created the Pug.
On the second day God created man to serve the Pug.
On the third day God created all the animals that could potentially be food for the Pug.
On the fourth day God created work so that man could labor in order to care for the Pug.
On the fifth day God created the ball so that the Pug might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day God created the veterinarian so that the Pug would be healthy and his human would be broke.
On the seventh day God was going to rest, but he had to walk the Pug.

Sleeping With Dogs

 Whoever said "LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE" didn't sleep with dogs.

 The first thing you discover when you bring a dog onto your bed is the
striking difference in weight between an alert, awake dog and a dog at rest.

Rule Number One:  The deeper the sleep the heavier the dog.

Most people who sleep with dogs develop spinal deformities rather than rent the heavy equipment necessary to move their snoring canines to a more appropriate part of the bed. Cunning canines steal precious space in tiny increments until they have achieved the center position on the bed - with all covers carefully tucked under them for safekeeping.  The stretch and roll method is very effective in gaining territory. Less subtle tactics are sometimes preferred. A jealous dog can worm his way between a sleeping couple and, with the proper spring action from all four legs, shove a sleeping human to the floor.

Rule Number Two: Dogs possess superhuman strength while on a bed.

As you cling to the edge of the bed, wishing you had covers, your sweet pup begins to snore at a volume you would not have thought possible.  Once that quiets down, the dog dreams begin.  Yipping, growling, running, kicking. Your bed becomes a battlefield and playground of canine fantasy.  It starts out with a bit of "sleep running", lots of eye movement and then, suddenly, a shrieking howl blasted through the night like a banshee wail.  The horror of this wake-up call haunts you for years. It's particularly devastating when your pup insists on sleeping curled around your head like a demented Daniel Boone cap.

Rule Number Three: The deeper the sleep, the louder the dog.

The night creeps on and you fall asleep in the 3 inches of bed not claimed by a dog. The dog dreams quiet slightly and the heap of dog flesh sleeps - breathing heavily and passing wind.  Then, too soon, it's dawn and the heap stirs. Each dog has a distinctive and unpleasant method of waking the pack. One may position itself centimeters from a face and stare until you wake. The clever dog obtains excellent results by simply sneezing on your face, or they could romp all over your sleeping bodies  - or the ever-loving insertion of a tongue in an  unsuspecting ear.

Rule Number Four: When the dog wakes - you wake.

So, why do we put up with this? There's no sane reason. Perhaps it's just that we're a pack and a pack heaps together at night - safe, contented, heavy and loud.

- It doesn't take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the winter.
- Dogs cannot lie.
- Dogs never resist nap time.
- You don't need to go get extra phone lines for a dog.
- Dogs don't pester you about getting a kid.
-Dogs don't care if the peas have been touched by the mashed potatoes.
- Average cost of sending a dog to school: $42. Average cost of sending your kid: $103,000.
- Dogs are housebroken by the time they are 12 weeks old.
- Your dog is not embarrassed if you sing in public.
- If your dog is a bad seed, your genes cannot be blamed.

1. Remove film from box and load camera.
2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.
6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
11. Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
12. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.
13. Put magazines back on coffee table.
14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
17. Call spouse to clean up mess.
18. Fix a drink.
19. Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.
 

** Giant gold fire hydrant in the front yard.
** Sends another dog out to bark at the mailman.
** Oscar Mayer truck parked at the kitchen door on Wednesdays.
** Starts his own party and runs for President.
** Congressman from Texas suddenly pushing anti-cat bill.
** "Bigfoot" truck in the driveway with "Hey Cat - Make My Day!" bumper sticker.
** Shortage of beef jerky at all the local grocery stores.

NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.

VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.

BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark --- a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark...

LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.

HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.

DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.

THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.

DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's also a good time to practice your sniffing.

HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.

GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.

COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.

PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.

CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never --- quite --- catch them. It spoils all the fun.

CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry. ...Eat a shoe.

ANGULATION: Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress the judges.  
BALANCE: How to arrange the checkbook so your spouse won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom with the door locked.  
BITCH: a) Name for a female dog. b) Name often overheard at dog shows, not always to describe a female dog.  
COAT: The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show.  DAM: a) A female dog with children. b) Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring.  
ELBOW: Method of getting to ringside when late.  
EXPRESSION: "Sweet" look adopted by dogs while staring ravenously at chunks of liver.  
FANCIER: Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others.  
FEATHERING: What winners are accused of doing to Judges' nests.  
FRONT: Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside of the ring.  
HEEL: a ) What you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice. b) Expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs.  
HEIGHT: As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 inch.  HOCK: A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings.  
KENNEL: Where you go when the lads fight and your spouse yells at you.  
LITTER: Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show.  
MASK: What to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago.  
MUZZLE: What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night.  
NOSEPRINTS: Cute marks left all over your French doors.  
OUTCROSSING: What your spouse tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch.  
POINTS: Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes.  
PUPPIES: Small, dog-like food-processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies, (these creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with a leaky system, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts).   

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself
to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is
and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time .....

~ If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
~ If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
~ If you can resist complaining and boring people with you troubles,
~ If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
~ If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
~ If you can overlook when people take things out on you, when through no fault of your, something goes wrong,
~ If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
~ If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
~ If you can relax without liquor,
~ If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
~ If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion or politics,
Then, you are almost as good as your dog.

* I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
* The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
* I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
* I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
* I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
* I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
* I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
* I will not throw up in the car.
* I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
* I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
* "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
* I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
* The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
* I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
* I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
* I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
* When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
* We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
* I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
* The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
* My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
* I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?
Afghan Hound: Do I have to? It'll mess up my fur!
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle....
Basenji: I'll wait for them to fix it, but now I'll chew on the couch while it's dark.
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark......
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel: I'm so cute I can crawl on their lap and they'll do it for me.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Collie: I can't change it, but I'll go get Gramps as soon a s I get Timmy out of the well!
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.
German Shepard: Alright, everyone stop where you are! Who busted the light? I SAID, "STOP WHERE YOU ARE!!!"
Giant Schnauzer: Can you please hurry up and change that bulb, I can't see to read the paper I'm suppose to pee on.
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
Irish Terrier ( Canadian Born): I can do it right after I chase that damn squirrel. You want to make something of that, EH?
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover....
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there....
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Pug: Is this light bulb edible? No? Then forget it.
Rottweiler: Make me!
Yorkie: Light bulb? I buried it! I thought it was a new kinda tulip!
Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light?

Why Dogs don't use Computers

1. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '98.
2. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
3. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
4. Too difficult to "mark" every web site they visit.
5. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
6. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
7. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
8. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that virtual Frisbee.
9. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
10. Still trying to come up with an emoticon that signifies tail wagging.
11. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.
12. Saliva coated floppy disks refuse to work.
13. Distracted by cats chasing the mouse.
14. TrO{gO HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. ("Too hard to type with paws!")
15. Smell U - Smell ME still in beta test.
16. Butt-sniffing more direct & less deceiving than online chat rooms.

LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dogs rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.
GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.
THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.
WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.
SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.
BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
LEAN: Every good dogs's response to the command "sit !", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require.....especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.
LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.

~ You have a kiddie wading pool in the yard, but no small children.
~ Lint wheels are on your shopping list every week.
~ You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places around the house, but no babies.
~ The trash basket is more or less permanently installed in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work.
~ You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose-prints all over the inside.
~ Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other.
~ You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy.
~ Your dog sleeps with you.
~ You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but she understands.
~ Your dog eats cat poop, but you still let her kiss you (but not immediately afterward, of course).
~ You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.
~ You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times.
~ You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid.
~ You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards from your dog.
~ You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be comfortable.
~ You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your dog than go to the movies with your sweetie.
~ You go to the pet supply store every Saturday because it's one of the very few places that lets you bring your dog inside and your dog loves to go with you.
~ You open your purse, and that big bunch of baggies you use for pick-ups pops out.
~ You get an extra-long hose on your shower-massage just so you can use it to wash your dog in the tub, without making the dog sit hip-deep in water.
~ You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back yard chirping "Meg, pee!" over and over again, while Meg tends to play and forget what she's out there for (but what your neighbors think of your behavior is yet another story).
~ You and the dog come down with something like flu on the same day. Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter remedy from the drugstore.
~ Your dog is getting old and arthritic, so you go buy lumber and build her a small staircase so she can climb onto the bed by herself.
~ Your license plate or license plate frame mentions your dog.
~ You match your furniture/carpet/clothes to your dog.
~ You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but no one else's).
~ You lecture people on responsible dog ownership every chance you get.
~ You hang around the dog section of your local bookstore.
~ You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in the morning before work.
~ You are the only idiot walking in the pouring rain because your dog needs her walk.
~ You don't go to happy hours with co-workers any more because you need to go home and see your dog.
~ Your parents refer to your pet as their grand-dog.
~ Your friend's dog acts as Best Dog at your wedding.
~ Your weekend activities are planned around taking your dog for a hike (both days).
~ You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case your dog gets thirsty at night (after all, her other dish is way down on the first floor)
~ Your freezer contains more dog bones than anything else.
~ You never completely finish a piece of steak or chicken (so your dog gets a taste, too).
~ You shovel a zigzag path in the back yard snow so your dog can reach all her favorite spots.
~ You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
~ You keep eating even after finding a dog hair in your pasta.
~ You make popcorn just to play catch with your dog.
~ You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead of pictures of your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely human.
~ Your dog is the star of your World Wide Web site!

Dog tags ring, are you listenin'?
In the lane, snow is glistenin'.
It's yellow, NOT white - I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.

Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wand'ring vagrants;
"Avoid where I pee, it's MY pro-per-ty!
Marked up as my winter wonderland."

In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go Man,
So all the world will know it's
mine-mine-mine!

Straight from me to the fencepost,
flows my natural... incense boast;
'Stay off my TURF, this small piece of earth,
I marked it as my winter wonderland'.

Westminster Terrier
Rhode Island Ridgeback
Palmeranian
Copper Spaniel
Cocker Spaniard
Black Labrador (from a license app, dog's color was yellow)
Shit Sue
Dorky Terrier
Lopso Apso
El Paso (attempt at Lhasa Apso)
Highland Heeler
Alaskan Malibu
Belgian Manawa
Belgium Malenoise
Basket Hound
Bagle
Welch Corgi
Wild Haired Terrier
Carrion Terrier
Wineamimer
Rockwelders
Rottenwiler
Great Pekingese (supposed to be Pyrenees)
Great Pyramid
Miniature Datsun
Irish Settler
Jack Daniels Terrier
German Police Man
Chesapeake A Retriever
Borderline Collie
Chevy King Charles (Cavalier)

Love comes with responsibility. Love takes time and effort. When someone loves you and counts on you, you have to be there to do your part. Sometimes this means putting their needs ahead of your own.
Play is important. Love is fun. Love is great. Sure, there's responsibility, but part of that responsibility is to play, play, play and enjoy each other's company.
Poop happens. Yep, sometimes some not-very-sweet stuff ends up where you wish it hadn't, but that's okay. It's just part of the whole package. Clean it up and get back to the good stuff. Learn to forgive and forget.
Don't take love for granted. Surprises and little gifts for no reason other than to show love are good.
It's important to spend time together. You don't always have to be doing something special. Sometimes it's just really nice to sit in the same room and do nothing together. There can be a lot of comfort in that.
Accept each other. Neither of you are perfect. Take the good with the bad, the odd with the commonplace. Love is bigger than the small stuff that gets under your skin.
Trust and honor love. Don't ever, ever abuse it. Love is the greatest gift you'll ever have, and it's downright criminal to ever do anything wrong or cruel in the name of love.
Respect each other's boundaries. You both need your own space. You both have your own needs. Neither of you should try to dominate the other.
Good relationships take work. Once you take on the responsibility of a relationship, you have to be willing to work at it. Sometimes there's nothing you'd like to do more than kick back and take it easy, but you've committed to (for example) going on a walk. Get up and go. It's be well worth the effort.
Non-verbal communication can speak louder than words.
Touch, hug, smile, speak softly.
Separations are tough... but reunions are sweet.
Everyone wants and needs love.
Deal with problems when they come up.
They won't just go away, and problems sure can make love tough.
Sloppy kisses are great. (Enough said about that one.)